Coping

Time seems to pass so quickly now that the boys are grown and out of the house. And yet the days drag by. I am, however, so very thankful to be here to see them fulfilling their dreams and becoming what God has planned for them.

This week a favorite cousin sent me an email referencing Mark 24++, the story of the faithful woman who had bled for 12 years and she reached out to just touch his robes as he passed on the streets. We had a little dialogue about it and I wanted to share that here.

This is a passage I hold dear. The faith just to BELIEVE that even when we don't know an answer, even when we don't see His face, just to Believe that He will heal us ... this is enough for me. I don't know how or why I have this faith, but I think it is rooted in the deep faith I saw in my Grandmother and now see in my mom.

I can't ever remember seeing my Mom's faith waver, although I'm sure it must have in my 47 years. She is entwined with, always has been, my first memory of faith. I've failed my guys in that but I pray that the faith I show in knowing God is carrying me through this illness time and time again will let them see deep faith in me also.

I love starting each day with the Lord's Prayer. .. it's the prayer Christ taught us.. what could be more full, more uplifting and complete than that? My only strength is His strength, I know that. Although I have never touched his robe as He passed on the road, I have felt His presence and His peace. It is enough. I know that I fall often and forget to look up to Him. Mike is wonderful to keep reminding me to tip my chin to look up not down. Peace enfolds me once again.

As a mom with a terminal illness, it was often hard to see a goal far ahead. Pain, seizures, loss of movement, medications, the list seems never ending. I am blessed to have a strong support system and two wonderful boys whom I love dearly. All of their love and that of my heavenly Father gives me the strength to keep the faith and keep going ... one more day.