My boys, now 16 and 18, have been told the hard truth of what we are facing every step of the way with this second round of cancer. There was no need to go through that agony with the first brain tumor because they were so young. This time, however, I not only needed their strength, but I didn't want them to hear second-hand as I talked on the phone with family.
I have been amazed at their resilience and displays of love and caring as we have walked through this process. I was single, but engaged, when I was initially diagnosed with the Multiple Myeloma. My guys immediately took over the roles of care-givers. Once again we rallied around the saying, "Life is not fair, but God is Oh so Good!". What troopers they have been through the ups and downs. (They would laugh at that sentence because we have a lot of "downs" these days - my balance is off so I fall a lot and I also have seizures which cause me to fall) Not that they laugh at me - but I have taught them to laugh WITH me at the situation. I have taken to calling my time on the floor "carpet inspection" time. 8-)
Some days I spend more time inspecting carpet than I would like to. Some days I just bounce off of every door frame and the hall walls as I make my way from my room to the living room. The boys have a solution for this: Nerf flooring and Nerf doorways. I think they have something there!
Back to the honesty: the guys have been aware of every bone punch, chemo
treatment, lab report and doctor's update. Most of the time, I just let them know there was a change and they asked questions they felt comfortable with. They know now, that the doctors have said there is nothing else they can do. They also know that I don't accept that as a final answer; that I have many talks with the Lord that help me feel I do have time to see the boys graduate and then some.
Each boy, when he has felt the need, has spent time with me asking all the difficult questions about death, dying, what the end is like, what happens after, what my wishes are. Sometimes we cry - other times we just hug or lean our heads together in silence (I knew it was God's perfect Peace at work and hope they did too). Above all, no matter how painful, I have been honest in answering them, asking God to give me the right words, He has never failed to do so.
About Me
- ShesTheQueen
- Middle, Tennessee, United States
- I am a 47 yr old mom surviving 2 types of cancer. We discovered an inoperable Astrocytoma (brain tumor) in 1993. When told I had 6 months to live, I had two toddlers. It's 2009 and we are beating that prediction every day! In 2003 I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma(cancer in the bone marrow) . The side effects of these two cancers makes daily life a challenge and what most would consider a "normal" life impossible. My goals have become very simple: Enjoy life with my husband, get all the kisses & hugs (or leans!) from my teen boys that I can, and keep going just one day longer. Most days I love the challenge!(I DO hate not being able to drive.)I love the Lord, love my County and thank those who serve to protect us.
1 comment:
Dee I have always wondered about you over the years, even when I was so sick in pain not know what is going on with me, I thought of you and P ray that God will keep you around to see your sons graduate college. Remember when U told me all U wanted was to see your sons grow up? God has granted your wish praise his Holy name, and he will grant U many more, have faith. Hun you made brought tears to my eyes, but I am so happy that U are here with us still and I am even more happy that god has blessed U with great kids, your sickness is a blessing.
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